As promised, the amazing wisdom that comes from my Facebook Page :
You will get through this. Everyone needs space. Everyone of every age. We all need room to breath and to think about our lives. Maybe your daughter will do what I did: keep a journal. Many HUGS. I'll be here if you need anything. Becks
It will be ok, glad it's working out. I'm sure it was hard, hang in there! You're a good mom who loves her children Give it time, and don't feel guilty.
You did what you needed to do for your family, especially for her right now...It will suck...little things like having breakfast together, talking about every little thing and just hanging out but in the long run it will be better for everyone...I'm thinking of y'all *hugs* I'm here to talk if you need to!
((Hugs)) . I know it's SO hard right now, but she will figure it out...that her Mommy is the one that she can count on. Being away will only have her discover this sooner.
My son is living with his adoptive father. He and I both want to live together, but well, dad has money and you know how that goes. But the happiness is the best gift you can give your kids, so when they get old like us they can look back on their childhood and say, hey It was great and it was fun!
It will be ok. You need to do what is best for her and right now, this is it. She still loves you. She still needs you. It will be tough - never hold it against her if it works out that she does better with her dad. It is not a reflection of the love between you. Stay strong!
You do what you have to do for your children. if you didn't do this, she wouldn't be happy, you and your other children wouldn't be happy. never doubt you did the right thing, you did.
And it's a time thing...within the next year or two she'll decide Dad's house sucks, moms wasn't so bad after all, and she'll be ready to move back. You will however need to set some concrete rules for her to follow for her to move back in, or else she will make everyone's lives hell again. Been there - done that!
i would tell me daughter to figure out for herself how to be comfortable at both our houses . if honestly she is doing good in school & lives with her grandparents/dad then u are doing right by her but that decision where she lives was made by the adults, not her and so is the decision that she has to fit in & be happy when she does come over to your house . my problem is opposite yours, i had to "convince" my daughter to go hang out with her dad . any of her complaints (bored, nothing to do) are the same she has at home . if it means spending a day a week in "misery" for her too bad for her she's gotta make the most of it instead of waste it . 11 ain't far from 12 13 14 . u gotta be the boss of that girl even if it's from a distance . my friend told me she's gotta know what your expectations for her are and make HER work to keep em that high . for me tho, i HATE when my daughters have to be responsible for their parents feelings . you're not a sensitive growing pains teenager, she is, work around her feelings & what her responsibilities of being a daughter/big sister/kid are . don't let her go tho . even a 5 minute phone call every evening goes a long way, a the tleast once a week
I went down this road With both my girls they're starting to come around it takes time. It hurts like hell for me but there was no fighting it they were safe there otherwise I wouldn't of allowed it but it ended up strengthening our relationship in the long run because now they realize their dad was not such a prince so I say go for it... Don't beat yourself up over all of this... It will get better I promise. I think it changed my life too and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
I'm sorry sweetie! Just give her time and let her know you love her. My son used to get mad at me and tell me he was going to go live with his dad, until I went to grab the phone and call his dad to pick him up. It didn't take long for him to see that his dad's complaining about me "taking his money" was BS. Maybe that is the root of it for you? Not the money, just the feeling that he broke your heart once and is now doing it again by using your daughter? He sounds selfish to have her thinking you were taking all of his money when you are working hard to support your kids. Wait... sounds like my ex.
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